… you get to:
- play Mr. Fix-it and repair your electrical box all before the sun wipes the sleep from its eyes. We’re not talking about the wimpy circuit breakers either. Anything that is located outside and has handle must have some serious voltage in its veins.
- wait in the cold at 6:17 in the morning at the bus stop. The particles in the air, whether comprised of hydrogen oxide or other elements in our periodic table, create a mystic aura. Apparitions resembling women leading their dogs will emerge out of the mist. (Not sure of the proper equestrian terminology of ‘leading’- you know… tying your beast to a stake in the ground and make it run in circles whilst gentle prodding the animal with a whip. Just for fun, here is the definition of whip: “An instrument, either a flexible rod or a flexible thong or lash attached to a handle, used for driving animals or administering corporal punishment. ” [Italics added for emphasism]. In any case, it’s a moot point as the beast in reference was small dog that stopped to urinate one of the many tree laden streets in Nanjing.)
- see a man running backwards. And as if the first story were not enough, this one also includes a dog. And wouldn’t you believe it, the dog was running backwards too! Can you imagine the shock of it… all before 6:45am in the morning.
- discover a new kind of baozi. There is a saying: “The early bird catches the worm.” On most days, the bird and worm sync. The bird being me, the worm being the roubao. But what if… what if the worm is still sleeping? My roubao was still being cooked. The milk hadn’t been pressed out of the soy. I was too early to catch my breakfast. Fortunately there were some other breed of baozi prepared. So thing morning, I tried another species: a snail. Too many metaphors? Too bad. It was a confusing moment for me. I pointed to another choice. Eureka! Only moments later would I discover the joy and pleasure of the mogu bao.
- fill your teacup with cold water and then drink from it, expecting hot. Confound it! They always get you in the end…