Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

fish tank

Aquatic Press (AP), Guptanimo Bay
Yester eve, at an hour unbeknownst to man, a hero passed splashless into the night. He was not the first of his kind. Unlike four others, he withswam the pressures most of his comrades hadn’t the gills to withswim: extremely high levels of ammonium in his rations of dihydrogen oxide, ‘special’ Jing Ping food, rigorous transportation on multiple occasions and confined living quarters not fit for even a minnow.

Among the reminants of his cell was a journal entry which read:

“Bla blurp burb blu Bla bubble, blub blop blap Blep blea Blurb blurb blurb. Blu Blop bla bleap bleep bla Burb blu blurp. Blup Blaop belp bleup bla blur.”

Highly trained and educated translators of the Gold dialect of Fish have come up with the following translation into English:

“I am holding out for a replacement RS Electrical 3-in-1 pump filter. I can only hope that my bleep -ing warden will go soon as the end seems near. Oh, how I dream of bluer streams…”

Today in commemoration of his valiant struggle against the evolutionary process and domestication, the flag is being flown at half mass.


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